MERCY 'i found myself in a situation many times where i was actually lying on the ground in a pool of blood, i didn’t ask the guy to stop, to show some mercy, but inside i was thinking, i hope he’s going to finally let up. but i’d never have yelled stop it or something, that used to be a sign of weakness for me, i didn’t know any better. ok, you’re afraid, but to scream it at the top of your voice, that’s even more embarrassing, i’d rather have asked him to kill me.'

RESPECTABILITY ‘is easy: i should stay just as i am and not pretend to be somebody else. not put on an act. for me it’s the same as honesty. whether you believe it or not, i can’t remember ever lying in court. i was guilty, i drank, i fucked up. why should i pay a lawyer in that case? sure, i might have saved myself a few years, but my honour was at stake. i was a rogue, but that’s just the way it was.’

WRATH ‘the term exists even if it’s not used. mostly we say ‘furious’. but there’s no comparison. it’s a very strong term. fury is harmless compared to wrath. wrath is treacherous. it eats you up inside, it poisons everything.’

BARENESS ‘is the same as nakedness. that’s why nobody likes to bare themselves. we don’t like to stand naked in front of other people. we want to be dressed. the soul dresses up too, not everybody has access to it. we often show ourselves up. sometimes without even noticing it. i always used to think that nobody noticed when i had a drop taken, that nobody could see that. it wasn’t true. but honesty is a good cure for baring your weaknesses. it’s actually impossible to show yourself up when you’re being honest with yourself.’

DAMNATION ‘to be condemned in advance, to be condemned at all and condemned once again, even though you’ve already been condemned. i spent twenty-four years in jail. i can’t do it any more, i’m fed up to the back teeth. i condemned myself. but that was my life, that was just my life. now i’ve a fixed abode, i go to work. i tread the boards. i’m currently playing woyzech. now there’s another condemned man. i’m one of ten woyzechs.’

PERDITION ‘is final. ruin. love, for example, is perdition. because my girlfriend died back then, in my own arms. pain and emptiness. rock bottom. that’s deep inside. i saw her lying there and just sat there. i block that out. i’m so afraid of it, i don’t know if i can bear it, i don’t know what would happen. perdition is a long-drawn-out process. destruction happens in one fell swoop. then it’s behind you: bang and it’s over.’

GOODNESS ‘for me that simply means seeing the good in a person despite all their faults. it’s got something to do with lenience. you have to be lenient in order to forgive. i think that goodness is a decision from the heart. being good isn’t fake. that reminds me of my court hearing, the sentence could have been much harder, but the judge set the minimum sentence and i realised then that he saw the good in me, he didn’t just want to lock me away. i experienced that as goodness.’

BLESSEDNESS ‘simply having the peace and quiet to face life, approaching each day calmly. i’m quite a devout optimist you know. for me the most important thing is to get out of bed in the morning with the attitude: good morning world, can i take your order? blessedness stems from happiness, if you happen to be lucky that is. when i can get into bed in the evening and say to myself ‘everything went to plan’, for me that’s happiness.’

OBEDIENCE ‘i used to obey when others told me to do something. My parents were strict and my brother and i used to stand to attention like ramrods. i had to be obedient in school. in the children’s home too. i submitted to the discipline there. if you don’t obey you’re punished. that’s the way it is. no, we obeyed alright, but there came a point when that was no longer the case.’

SEVERANCE

STRIFE ‘means nothing to me..., i’ve actually got nothing at all to say on that score. i’ve an optimistic outlook on the future and don’t wrestle with the problem either, with alcohol or whatever…i’ve managed to do that for quite a while now and want things to stay that way. sure, you do sometimes think about it, but …the subject of alcohol is a no-go area for me and it’s not something I grapple with in a big way.’

INDIGNATION ‘i’ve fallen out of favour with others. i know that i’m different, that many people find it difficult to accept me. because i’m such hard work and know no boundaries. putting up with that is a lot to ask. but it’s clearly easier for me to tell you what a prick you are than to tell myself the same thing.’